


Colliding Interests

by NervousOtaku (orphan_account)



Series: Tales of a 144 Player Fansession! [16]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Fighting, Hatred, Kinda, SBURB Fan Session, This Is STUPID, can humans have those romances?, something along those lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 14:03:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10439289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/NervousOtaku
Summary: Or: In Which A Maid And A Bard Are Running Something Along The Lines Of Kissmesistude And Another Bard Is Forced To Auspisticize In A Way





	

“I can't _believe_ your _impudence!_ ”

“ _I_ can't believe _your_ weird-ass _kinks!_ ”

Majorie bristled, a rather large hatchet in hand as she glared up at Scott. His claws were already out and equipped, arms spread as he waited for her to attack.

“He has transcended humanity and become a superior being. You should be _worshipping_ him, and yet you treat him like a _dog_ to be put down! How _dare_ you!” Majorie hissed.

“The only thing that little grimdark _bastard_ has transcended is the limits of _my good motherfucking will!_ ” Scott snapped back. “We don't need his whiny-ass pussy behavior fucking up all our _hard work_ by letting those _porn-gods_ into the session!”

“We would be so blessed if the outer gods graced us with their presence, you blasphemous _heathen!_ ”

Scott was starting to get a fair buildup of rage going, the purple miasma starting to curl off his shoulders once again as his temples throbbed and his eyes flashed red. Majorie had blurs of shadow and pure nothingness flickering about her fingertips, ready to displace things from existence. That is, provided Scott's impending berserk-mode didn't kill her first. And _that_ was assuming she was slow enough not to erase him from reality. Both Heroes were powerful, volatile, and very, very _angry_. Consorts, underlings, and game-construct monsters alike were all fleeing the area in case a fight _did_ break out.

“I ought to _kill_ you for your acts towards Kevin, you _disgusting worm_.” Majorie leered, a deranged glint coming into her eyes.

“And I oughta tear your guts out and string them up like party-decorations around my forests. Then when your _oh-so-precious_ grimdark pussy-boy comes around, I can _hang_ him with the bloody remains of the _only_ person who ever _loved_ him.” Scott replied, grinning savagely as the miasma around him thickened. As if in response, the void-y stuff around her hands intensified. “Of course, _you'd_ probably get a _kick_ out of that— guro-whore bitch.”

“I wouldn't be the one popping a boner while dismembering another member of my _all-important_ party!” Majorie shot back.

“Of course not, you'd just be _dripping_ while praising your messed-up wannabe deities for the—”

Scott's words were cut off as something suddenly body-slammed the both of them. They both stumbled, winded and pressed down on by the strange force. Scott hurried to captchalogue his claws before he could hurt himself, while Majorie simply tossed her hatchet away. Yells of surprise left them both as they were forced to the ground. At the same time, the miasma of rage and the red glint left Scott, and Majorie's patches of void fled her hands.

“C- _Cassidy_...!” Scott coughed as the Bard of Void lay very deliberately over them.

“Oh, hey you two! Looks like I tripped!” she greeted cheerfully.

Despite her naive tone, it wasn't hard to tell that she was lying.

“Were you two going to strife? It's so _nice_ to see everyone wanting to help each other get stronger like that!” Cassidy smiled, patting both their shoulders.

“We... _weren't_...” Scott objected, his eyelids starting to droop.

“You can get up _any_ time now.” Majorie said pointedly.

“Aww, but I'm _tired!_ I've been lost _all day_ and can't seem to find the right portal back to my house!” Cassidy pouted.

Knowing Cassidy, that probably wasn't a lie. The Bard could get lost in a straight hallway. But she didn't have to lie right across them!

A soft snore drew Majorie's attention to Scott. To her surprise and annoyance, the Bard of Rage was fast asleep. The pig was even _drooling_.

“Don't worry, Majorie, he usually conks out after a berserk-mode! Getting as angry as he can takes a _lot_ of energy!” Cassidy hummed, seeming to settle in for a nap herself.

“No he doesn't! It's only when you forcibly cancel it out!” the Maid snapped, trying to push the other girl off her back somehow. But it wasn't much use, Cassidy appeared to be firmly lodged on top of them.

“Don't worry, he'll be fine...” she said with a sweet smile.

“Don't you _dare_ go to sleep! _Hey!_ Cassidy!”

It was no good.

And, frustratingly enough, Majorie found herself slipping into sleep as well.

When the Maid woke up, she found herself in her bed. Scott found himself alone in the Forest of Horrors with a blanket draped over him. Both found aspirin in plastic bags and bottles of water near them, with notes apologizing for the body-slam and any aches they may have from Cassidy napping on top of them.


End file.
